one down and another one in 2 weeks time.
and just before my exam, my phone and my laptop crashed one after another. and there goes all the things stored in both of them.
thankfully most of my stuff are in the external hard disk and thus most of the documents in my laptop ( or my brother's one to be exact) are saved. but the sad thing about my phone is that most contacts,messages,pictures that are stored inside are gone too! :(
i have a habit of safe keeping meaningful messages sent to me. these are the messages which often encourage me when i am down, messages which draw a smile on my face, messages which bring back great old memories, messages which are even lamer than SLE disease ( So-Lame-Eh ! lol ) and many many many other messages.
if i am not mistaken, the oldest message in my phone was dated as old as in july 2007. and pooffff, everything is gone. i was upset. that everything is gone just so easily. i didn't have a chance to re-read everything before its gone. i didn't have a chance to save it to somewhere else.
then again, at that moment, i was reminded of something which i once said to xy. her laptop also crashed sometime ago and all the documents including all the pictures were gone all together. and that time, i told her, as the old memories are gone, it's time to CREATE new memories.
i know, i should apply this now. when something is gone, it's gone. the messages may be gone together with the phone, but the memories shall be kept up in my mind. and it's time to create new memories to replace some of the old ones. perhaps it's god's way of telling me that i should forgo all these things and it's time to move on.
i will be leaving bj in 2 weeks+ time. bj,its a place which stored so much memories, just like my phone. sometimes, i wish my brain can function like a phone, where any unwanted item can just be deleted by clicking a button. then again, given that button, i wouldn't delete any of the memory here.
because, i know next time, i will smile when i look back at all these. all these memories, be it happy ones, sad ones are part of who i am.i know one day, i will smile and feel proud of myself for going through all these. one day, that day will come, if i just stay strong and hold tight. one day.
and for now, without all those encouraging messages in my phone that i used to read when i am feeling demotivated during exam periods, i have turned to reading a book. it serves as a gentle reminder on how life can be different if you take it in another way.
besides, on my study table, i have a bottle of hearts. given as my birthday gift this year :) and they are my soure of motivation whenever i am feeling down. ( the only trouble is to fold it back after i read it. lol)
and i want to share something which is in one of the hearts ( unfortunately, a pink-ish-and purplish decorated one, lol)
'' the future is not something to be scared of, take a look at your hands. in future, your hands will save lives, your hands will carry your children, your grandchildren; your hands will hold that of your life partner, your hands will hold what makes you happy. embrace yourself, the best if yet to come :)''
well said and nicely put. thankyou! :)
