unpredictability

second week in surgery. i am starting to rekindle my love for surgery. there's much more to it than just cut cut and cut.

having to cover the ward everyday, reaching the ward before sunrise is just plain tiring. but going back to this posting the second time made me understood lots of things which i did not understand when i was in semester 6. i still remembered it was my very first posting when i entered clinical school. even to settle down to clinical school was already a tough one for me, more over to understand surgery. so the posting just passed in a blink. the truth is, looking at the current semester 6, i feel so matured, at least in my clinical skills. can't say i am good it in, but with some polish, i am sure we will all be competent.

the ward is just full of so many motor vehicle accident patients. having to cover two patients from the acute cubicle, i have countless patients who came in with large/small bleed in the brain. all young and healthy ones. but because of an accident, things changed. some made it through, some didn't.

unpredictability. thats life.

two of my patients passed away in my first week. both are relatively young patient. with not much comorbid conditions. from the first day i clerk them, to seeing them deteriorate, to reading the reports on their deaths, the feelings are something which i cannot describe with words.

again. unpredictability. that's life.

however, coming back to the ward in my beloved country after so long, after doing my elective in taiwan and singapore, i realised there's a need for change here. something needs to be changed. something is wrong. but i just can't spell it out. my friend once told me, initiate change by being part of the change. yes?