thank you

thank youss directed to different people :)

thank you so much for reminding me that i need to take care of myself, because i am responsible for myself. no one else is obliged to do so. hope you are really alright:) and i am really really glad that the decision that i have made few months back seem to be leading to a positive outcome. i guess, life is just like double edged sword. we can't have good things at both world. glad that everything is alright now :)

thank you for the message. sorry for always burdening u with all my problems.

so long as there is breath within me,
i will persist.
for now i know one of the greatest principles of success,
if i persist long enough,
i will win.

thank you for the orange.

thank you for understanding whatever that i am feeling. it's freaky that u know my innermost thoughts eventhough i didn't express it out to anyone.


thank you for being there for me.


thank you ( you you you you and you) for everything.

swim

this morning, i woke up early and have the sudden urge to go swim. so there i am, swimming in the pool all by myself early in the morning. i have long forgotten this feeling of swimming freely in the water. ah, i love swimming, except for the swimming experience in phuket(urgh). i used to swim quite frequently when i was in secondary school. its the second sports that i like besides table tennis :)

and just like running, i think a lot when i swim. haha, i think, basically i think a lot all the time recently, thats why i can't really concentrate when i am studying. sigh. anyway, i came out with some really meaningful line. i don't know anyone else has came out with it before me or if there is grammatical errors with it, but i think its just so meaningful.

leave the past, live YOUR present, and lift the future :)

live the life the way you want it, because ultimately it is YOUR life. no one else is responsible for it. so, am i living the life that i want? i don't know. because till now, i myself is not sure of what kind of life i want.

marathon

life is just like a marathon. you have to keep going and going and going. it is different from running around the park, where u can just quit halfway when u feel tired. for marathon, u just have to move forward because there is no turning back. u may feel tired, u may feel like giving up, u may ask yourself why are u running this race that seems to be endless. but at the end of the day, when u reach the finishing line, u will feel so proud of yourself that u achieved something. same applies to life. something great cannot be achieved unless we have suffered. as we are running this marathon of life, we should always think that we are not alone. there are so many thousands people are running as well. they are facing the same giant that u are facing.if they can do it, why cant u?

the above philosophy is something precious that i have learnt from a friend. its just so amazing that we can compare life with a marathon. and just like another friend of mine, i think a lot when i am running, either in the park or during a race. running can grant u a peace of mind and ya, that's why i have been running a lot lately :)

i have so much to say to you. but i just lost the courage to face you. i am sorry.

fall for you

i love love love this song :)

Fall for you- secondhand serenade

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before?
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you over again
Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you's impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start

i won't forget the night when u sang this song. i know it was not intended for me, but this song brought back so many sweet memories :)

happy

happy is a choice.

this is something that wy said in the video. of course i know that. everyone wants to be happy. if happy is a choice, why are there still sad people out there? i don't think anyone would want to be sad if they can choose to be happy.

i am doing something that is making myself sad. very sad in fact. i can't foresee the consequences of this action. but i do hope that it will be a positive outcome. but going at this rate, i wonder how long more can i withstand.

sometimes, i hate myself for not appreciating whatever that i have, but instead kept focusing on things that i do not have.
i complain about vista, the apartment that i stay in now, when there are so many homeless people out there wanting to get a shelter.
i complain about imu, when there are so many people out there who do not even have the opportunity to go to school.
i complain that i am not a good speaker, when there are so many people are born mute, not able to communicate even a single word to their loved ones.
i complain that i am not a good runner, when there are so many people out there who are wheel chair bound, bed-ridden and cant even go to the place they want without other people's help.

i complain about so many things. but never learn to appreciate the small things that i have. i think one of the key to happiness is to be grateful with whatever that we have and work hard for something that we want. i believe in fate.

if it belongs to you, it will be yours eventually.

change

Things change pretty fast eh. this is not the first time i have this feeling. sometimes, you feel like you know someone very well, well enough that you thought that you understand whatever that he/she is thinking, well enough that you thought that whatever problems that arise between both of you can be overcome easily, well enough that there is no secret/lies between both of you.

and just when you thought so, reality proves you wrong. its just feel like the person that you thought you know very well suddenly becomes a complete stranger, that you don't understand him/her at all, that you feel betrayed by the very person that you trusted a lot.

it is just so sad that sometimes a friendship is affected just by some minor things. some small things that won't even matter at all when you look back one month later. i don't hope to give up on a friendship that i cherish a lot, but at the same time, i think , the only way to prevent myself from sinking deeper is by giving up this very friendship that i treasure a lot.how la how.

on the other hand, i received a belated birthday gift from my bunch of crazy friends. that's my best birthday gift ever so far :):):) i love love love love love love love love X10000000 the video sooooooooooooo much. i can't believe i am so stupid that i didnt realise my friends have been going around to record down bday wishes from different people for me. thank you so much! i really appreciate it a lot:)

and and and, happy brithday to another cute cheerful october baby, hoay :)

birthday

first cake from mom:):):)

Happy 21st birthday to me :)

early celebration with friends on friday nite and had loads of fun, eventhough i was so so tired after that. it all started with a lie that i am going to go fishing with rm before the dinner. haha, instead of fishing, i went over to his place and bake my very own birthday cake :) so, we created stories on how big was the fish and everything, and all of them believed our stories :P thereafter, we had really nice dinner. i love kaki corner :) and after the meal, they wanted to surprise me and rm pretended to 'pakat' with them but at the same time he was messaging me about the their plan when i was only sitting beside him. it was just so funny that i couldnt stop laughing when i recalled back now. so, he carried out the cake and as planned, i was supposed to act surprise and follow along:P only after blowing the candle that we revealed the whole plan to them. i just cant forget their shocked look. haha.
dinner

homebaked cake by me and rm

revealing our lies :P

kaki corner:)

and after the dinner, we went over to starhill as the atmosphere there is really nice. we took lots of pic there and had a drink at lecka lecka. played some really really 'stressful' game there and many secrets are revealed. i shall not elaborate more. and and and, after that, we had second round of drinking at my place. i drank few shots of vodka but surprisingly, i was not showing any single sign of drunk. haha. didnt know my tolerance level is so high :)in starhill

the girls :)

the guys

second day , after only sleeping 1++ hour, i went to times sq to meet up with yy,jh,wp,yf. we had lunch and walk around the mall. i went back home early because i was really really exhausted but it was really nice catching up with them after so long :)

and on my birthday itself, what did i do? i sign up for a 12km run organised by newbalance. when i told my secondary sch friends that i am taking part in that, they were so surprised because i hate running last time. anyway, i am really proud of myself because i managed to complete the 12km within 1hour45mins and won myself a medal for that :) it just proves that anything is possible if you really tried hard enough. side note, my friend stick a note 'today is my birthday' on the back of my shirt and i am supposed to run with that throughout the 12km. imagine, along the road, there are so many strangers wishing myself happy birthday. it was quite embarassing, but come to think of it,i really appreciate the birthday wishes:)21 cupcakes from wy :)

i ran with that for the 12km!

m207:)


medal, note the date on it :)

i really want to thank my friends for the wonderful birthday dinner and celebrations. and also thankyou for those people for took an effort to message me on facebook or phone. and not forgetting izzat that called me sharp 12am and hamsap mus that called me all the way from canada! thankyou so much!a collage that hy made for me :) i love it!

i was told that i am quite quiet/emo during the bday celebrations and on my bday itself. i have no idea why, but i just cant force myself to be happy. and ytd, i was just so sad over something that someone said to me. it is something that i should have already known for very long, just that i was in denial state all along. but, i told myself, i can't continue to sink deeper, i will learn to stand up independantly.

the sun rise on 12october 2008 :)

Fishing

my first ever fishing experience :)

i have always thought that fishing is a very boring hobby. i have decided to learn it because i need to train my patience. but but but, this fishing experience really changed my opinion. from baiting to casting, it was really interesting:) i like the baiting part especially because i get to pierce the worms with the hook. hehe. ya ya ya, i am cruel.

we, or rather rm managed to catch 5 fishes that morning, but we released 4 of them and kept one for our lunch. hehe, oh, i love eating fish :) i have yet to catch any fish of my own yet, but i am confident that i'll get one the next time we go fishing. now, i am still trying to perfect my casting skills.

first fish for the morning, we actually caught it in less than 10mins

fishy fish

the real master and the third fish

lunch :)

the pond which houses so many fish, oh, notice the magnificent sunrise :)

joke of the day:
me: i think fishes should go for lessons so that they won't get caught so easily.
rm: ya, they do. coz fishes always swim in schools.
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Phuket :)

i am back from phuket :) except for the fact that it is overcrowded with tourists and too commercialized, the island is awesome :) i am so totally in love with the scenery there.

besides the mandatory shopping, we went sight seeing around the famous Phi phi island and Maya bay. and there, i had my first snorkelling experience. we were just given the gadgets and told that we can get down the sea whenever we are ready. oh boy , the sea is not just knee height, it is sooo deep. however, i don't know whether its considered as lucky or unlucky, i was 'dragged' to a place that is far away from the cruise by a cruise crew. actually what happened was that i was holding on to a float, and without me realising, the thai guy was actually dragging the float further and further away from the cruise. i was so scared because we were so far away from the cruise and the sea is so deep. but, there, i managed to see some really pretty corals:) by the time we swam back to the cruise, everyone else has already changed back to dry cloths, because i was the last to get up the cruise. haha. but, i really have to thank the crew for i wouldn't have the chance to see those nice pretty corals.

i also went for my first ever thai massage. it was not as painful as i have expected, in fact it was really soothing and comfortable :) just that when the person was massaging, there are crackling sound here and there. funny.

the trip was quite fun, my only regret is that i couldn't speak or understand thai language. or else i could have bargain better when i was buying stuff =P

viking cave

Long beach, where they shoot the movie, 'the beach'

family pic :)

lobster!

Mcd's pork burger :D

'' there are so many languages in the world, but only smile speaks them all :) ''