happy

happy is a choice.

this is something that wy said in the video. of course i know that. everyone wants to be happy. if happy is a choice, why are there still sad people out there? i don't think anyone would want to be sad if they can choose to be happy.

i am doing something that is making myself sad. very sad in fact. i can't foresee the consequences of this action. but i do hope that it will be a positive outcome. but going at this rate, i wonder how long more can i withstand.

sometimes, i hate myself for not appreciating whatever that i have, but instead kept focusing on things that i do not have.
i complain about vista, the apartment that i stay in now, when there are so many homeless people out there wanting to get a shelter.
i complain about imu, when there are so many people out there who do not even have the opportunity to go to school.
i complain that i am not a good speaker, when there are so many people are born mute, not able to communicate even a single word to their loved ones.
i complain that i am not a good runner, when there are so many people out there who are wheel chair bound, bed-ridden and cant even go to the place they want without other people's help.

i complain about so many things. but never learn to appreciate the small things that i have. i think one of the key to happiness is to be grateful with whatever that we have and work hard for something that we want. i believe in fate.

if it belongs to you, it will be yours eventually.