hope

just as the name of the blog, hope keeps me going. things can only get better :)

answer

sometimes, we ask for answers. often, we don't get the answers. we spent our time thinking and thinking.

perhaps, what we need is not an answer. its a decision.

and to make the decision, it takes a lot of courage.

downhill

how can all these happen so fast? i hope things could end up better.

this is like a vicious cycle. everything is so familiar. i went through the whole cycle before.

why do i always allow myself to fall into the same maze?

i always hope if there is someone who can tell me what i should do at such moment. but i know certain things you just gotta learn to solve it yourself. coz thats how you learn.

but i never seem to learn from mistakes. and i am going downhill again. i hope i can go back to the pre-eos period, when i just study study and study, nothing else but study. at least i feel like a human then. a useful one.

i cant wait to go taiwan/sg. away from all this. coz everything in my room reminds me of somebody. and its just plain torture.

looking back at my blog, i think i only update whenever i feel sad. many things happened in between. many reasons to smile. maybe what dr P said is true, we should always look at the positive sides of things.

strength

i think pre-exam period is the time that i reflect a lot. what to do, i am easily distracted. anyway, reflection of the day, my friends say that i am a stressor to people around, as in, i tend to make people feel pressurized. i think i portray myself as someone who is very strong, especially for people who do not know me well. not many have seen me teared. thankfully.

personally, i do not think that i am very strong. i break down very easily too. its just maybe i am not comfortable to do that infront of other people.

but i think my immune system is breaking down nowadays. the wall is slowly crumbling. or am i too tired inside this wall? the wall which i have built to protect myself all this while.

maybe i need the adrenaline rush, the stress, to push me harder. push me away from thinking so much.

wedding invitation!

wedding cupcake :))

nope nope. i am not getting married yet. lol. i wished. instead, i got my very first wedding invitation yesterday!

ahhh. wedding is such a happy thing. and i am so happy for her:) and , she is the top top student in our batch. i admire her for her discipline, how she can focus so well. i wish her happiness and much love!

first invitation. and i foresee many many more coming soon! maybe i can be like the show 27 dresses. lol. i like to go online and browse through those wedding photographer websites. it has became a habit to destress. every couple wants their wedding to be immotalized. and those wedding photographers are just so awesome. they are just so good in capturing those special moments:)