8th August marks the last day of my service in the ministry of health. Submitting my resignation letter a month ago felt just like a day ago. Time really really flies.
It's a great feeling. To see how you yourself have grown so much. I am so amazed to see how much I have grown through these hardship. They say, housemanship is tough. They say, housemanship is torturing. I say, housemanship has made me a better person, a better doctor.
Reading some of the experiences of my friends who are doing housemanship in other hospitals, I am grateful that I am sent to where I am now to do my housemanship.
Bidding farewell has never been easy. Leaving this place where I spent almost 15hours/ day 7 days/week for the past few months is not easy. I am glad for the friendship I have made in this few months. I am glad for the experience I had.
Last day of work, with lots of unforgettable experience. The most malignant specialist, who shouts at everybody and everything, who is so anal about things, narrate even 'bracket', 'arrow'. He is one of its kind. Issued 'DNR-do not resuscitate' to two families. I can't spell how difficult it is to do it, eventhough I have done it so many times. Followed by assisting a pleural tapping. This patient, I have managed her during her last admission, until her discharge. with underlying advanced stage IV lung Ca, she is definitely holding it up very well. very optimistic lady. never complain a single word when we attempt so many times to insert long CVP line for her. Now she is readmitted, on the first day of Raya, looking very ill. The smile which she used to have, is masked by the pain of the disease. I hope she will continue to hold on. My last day was highlighted by a patient who was trying to abscond away from the ward and created a big drama. lol.
I hope I never regret this choice which I have made. Quitting my job and chasing after my dream. Leaving this place in a week time. I know this journey will definitely make a different person. I just hope this change will make me a better person. I look forward to it.
Showing posts with label Medicine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Medicine. Show all posts
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Doctor-ing
Recently, I saw one piece of news circulated among my FB friends. It's regarding the letter from ministry of health stating that more than 95% of the post for medical officer in the country have been filled, and in certain states, it has even over-filled.
This is an irony. One side of the story, so many government doctors are complaining that they are over-working, another side of, the government is giving letter stating that the post is going to be over filled.
Question is, what happen after that? So, very soon, as predicted by many, doctors may be jobless.
The 5 years journey of medical school is definitely not an easy. and when one is faced with such situation after graduating, who is going to be responsible?
During the family gathering last month, I was asked, how do you sum up your medical school life? Did you cry everyday? Lol, to be honest, I did cry, from stress, from relationship issues, from family issues etc. Of course, I still cannot forget how traumatised I was when I witness the first resuscitation in the ward when I was still a pre-clinical student. I can just hear the bone cracking underneath when the doctors are doing the chest compression.
So, ask me again, is it worth it? The answer would be Yes. Regret, definitely, especially at times when I just cannot cope with the stress, when things can be so easy when you just say, I give up.
But, I hold on to it. and the happiness when I received the scroll with the piece of paper stating MBBS is just..plain bliss.
That was a dream since childhood. And yes, it has came true.
They say, 'the dream is great, but who you need to become to get your dream done is the real reward. '
I am truly blessed, to have met the people in my life, for without them, I could not have achieve what I have today. I think the long path, or what people name it as 'calling' has definitely changed me in a way.
This is an irony. One side of the story, so many government doctors are complaining that they are over-working, another side of, the government is giving letter stating that the post is going to be over filled.
Question is, what happen after that? So, very soon, as predicted by many, doctors may be jobless.
The 5 years journey of medical school is definitely not an easy. and when one is faced with such situation after graduating, who is going to be responsible?
During the family gathering last month, I was asked, how do you sum up your medical school life? Did you cry everyday? Lol, to be honest, I did cry, from stress, from relationship issues, from family issues etc. Of course, I still cannot forget how traumatised I was when I witness the first resuscitation in the ward when I was still a pre-clinical student. I can just hear the bone cracking underneath when the doctors are doing the chest compression.
So, ask me again, is it worth it? The answer would be Yes. Regret, definitely, especially at times when I just cannot cope with the stress, when things can be so easy when you just say, I give up.
But, I hold on to it. and the happiness when I received the scroll with the piece of paper stating MBBS is just..plain bliss.
That was a dream since childhood. And yes, it has came true.
They say, 'the dream is great, but who you need to become to get your dream done is the real reward. '
I am truly blessed, to have met the people in my life, for without them, I could not have achieve what I have today. I think the long path, or what people name it as 'calling' has definitely changed me in a way.
Monday, January 21, 2013
brain
Brain is such a amazing organ. one which differentiates us human from animals. it's function, of course can be good or evil. there's always an angel who is talking to us and at the same time there will be one devil opposing it.
Many think that angel is the good one and devil will always be in the dark side. This applies to most cases, but in certain situation, the devil will act to protect us from whatever out there which is detrimental to us. It actually serves as a protective mechanism.
Of course, this triggered me to think, whenever I am studying, I felt tired. So is it tiredness, which the brain is telling me to stop and don't overwork OR is it just the devil side - I am just plain lazy. no idea.
But I can only conclude, self mastery is very important. It's all in your mind.
# side note after watching a very motivating movie: Gifted hands: Dr Ben Carson. Dr Carson the youngest appointed director of paediatric neurosurgeon in john hopkins university hospital was an amazing figure. You should google it to find how impressive his life story is and should totally watch the movie if you have time.
anyways, in one of his sharing, he pointed out how complex our brain is, how many billions neurons are working in our brain. He asked the crowd, how many of you remember your birthday? for this simple action of raising your hand, do you know complicated it is?
to spell out the mechanism in minutes is tough for me, but for the brain to process the question that we hear passing from our external auditory canal to inner then convert it to chemical energy passing it to our auditory cortex which connects to our motor centre to allow us to raise our hand, it only takes seconds for us to raise up our hand to answer to this stimulus. Awesome right?
and even more awesome is that all these are happening without us realising it. We never even thought about all this thing and our brain are diligently processing it in such amazing manner. Our brain can achieve soooo much without us realising.
so, imagine, what can WE achieve, if we put something that we want to do in our brain, if we are consciously thinking of doing it?
He also mentioned, he operated on many many many brains. And upon opening the skull, underneath the dura is our brain. And all human brains are the same, regardless you are black, white, female, male rich or poor. So, all this are just a cover. What differentiates one to another essentially is how you make use of your brain.
One question that his mother always ask him: do you have brain? if the answer is yes, stop making excuses to the problems and start finding solution. Because what is needed is all up there in our brain. We are equipped with everything we need to solve a problem.
yes, it's all in your mind!
Many think that angel is the good one and devil will always be in the dark side. This applies to most cases, but in certain situation, the devil will act to protect us from whatever out there which is detrimental to us. It actually serves as a protective mechanism.
Of course, this triggered me to think, whenever I am studying, I felt tired. So is it tiredness, which the brain is telling me to stop and don't overwork OR is it just the devil side - I am just plain lazy. no idea.
But I can only conclude, self mastery is very important. It's all in your mind.
# side note after watching a very motivating movie: Gifted hands: Dr Ben Carson. Dr Carson the youngest appointed director of paediatric neurosurgeon in john hopkins university hospital was an amazing figure. You should google it to find how impressive his life story is and should totally watch the movie if you have time.
anyways, in one of his sharing, he pointed out how complex our brain is, how many billions neurons are working in our brain. He asked the crowd, how many of you remember your birthday? for this simple action of raising your hand, do you know complicated it is?
to spell out the mechanism in minutes is tough for me, but for the brain to process the question that we hear passing from our external auditory canal to inner then convert it to chemical energy passing it to our auditory cortex which connects to our motor centre to allow us to raise our hand, it only takes seconds for us to raise up our hand to answer to this stimulus. Awesome right?
and even more awesome is that all these are happening without us realising it. We never even thought about all this thing and our brain are diligently processing it in such amazing manner. Our brain can achieve soooo much without us realising.
so, imagine, what can WE achieve, if we put something that we want to do in our brain, if we are consciously thinking of doing it?
He also mentioned, he operated on many many many brains. And upon opening the skull, underneath the dura is our brain. And all human brains are the same, regardless you are black, white, female, male rich or poor. So, all this are just a cover. What differentiates one to another essentially is how you make use of your brain.
One question that his mother always ask him: do you have brain? if the answer is yes, stop making excuses to the problems and start finding solution. Because what is needed is all up there in our brain. We are equipped with everything we need to solve a problem.
yes, it's all in your mind!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Breaking bad news
We doctors learn how to break bad news, in medical school and I am sure it will be one of the question in the communication skills in the specialist exam. We even have mnemonic for it, SPIKES, set up, Perception of the patient before we break the news, Invitation-sort of like the opening before we break the news, Knowledge- that is breaking the news, Emotions/empathy, S-summary and strategy for next step.
Right, so much of theory, especially the empathy part. I guess we will never understand it. We have to say : ''yes, we understand what you are going through, Mrs.. ''But how many really understood the hurricane which is going through in the patient's mind as you unfold the bad news. Not many.
We were even taught stages of accepting death or bad news, namely Denial-->anger ( blaming everybody including the doctor for the misdiagnosis) --> bargain ( bargaining with god) --> depression --> and finally acceptance.
Theory theory theory again.
Recently, there's a doctor in singapore, late Dr Richard Teo, who passed away after battling with stage IV lung CA. It was hard even for him to accept the news initially. The impact, thankfully was positive, his reflections before he passed away has been shared through the media, facebook, and has reminded us a lot of things.
Have a read here if you haven't come across the article yet.
Putting ourselves in others' shoes has never been easy, especially when you are dealing with the human weakest spot - the fear of death.
Right, so much of theory, especially the empathy part. I guess we will never understand it. We have to say : ''yes, we understand what you are going through, Mrs.. ''But how many really understood the hurricane which is going through in the patient's mind as you unfold the bad news. Not many.
We were even taught stages of accepting death or bad news, namely Denial-->anger ( blaming everybody including the doctor for the misdiagnosis) --> bargain ( bargaining with god) --> depression --> and finally acceptance.
Theory theory theory again.
Recently, there's a doctor in singapore, late Dr Richard Teo, who passed away after battling with stage IV lung CA. It was hard even for him to accept the news initially. The impact, thankfully was positive, his reflections before he passed away has been shared through the media, facebook, and has reminded us a lot of things.
Have a read here if you haven't come across the article yet.
Putting ourselves in others' shoes has never been easy, especially when you are dealing with the human weakest spot - the fear of death.
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
A new chapter of life
It's october! Been away from the blog for too long. Yes, I have graduated, finally. Although I am slightly disappointed that I couldn't achieve my goal, but well, that's life.
''A champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.'' Serena William -US Open 2012 champion.
I shall not look back.
Quoting from a friend, we are still considered kindergarten in this journey of medicine. There are much more to come.
and yes, today marks the first day of work for many of my friends! Wherever they are, wish they luck and hopefully with the knowledge which we have acquired in this few years, they will be able to return back to the community!
So what about me? I am choosing another path. Just like the poem by Robert Frost, The Road not Taken, I am taking a far different road, road to the states. Am reading for my steps now, step by step. Taking a baby step each day.
Here's a link to a journal dedicated to my preparations. There are so many many other people out there who are also taking this route, many are mothers of a few, juggling between work, studies and family. So I feel rather 'lucky' to be able to read this step in peace.
http://www.prep4usmle.com/forum/thread/113195/
And yes, 2012, more magical moments to come.
I want the krou of 2013 be able to thank krou of 2012 for making this decision, taking this big step, and to thank krou of 2012 for persevering and working hard. yes. I want to be able to thank myself ( and of course people who have helped me a lot along the way) when I look back.
No regrets. No more.
''A champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.'' Serena William -US Open 2012 champion.
I shall not look back.
Quoting from a friend, we are still considered kindergarten in this journey of medicine. There are much more to come.
and yes, today marks the first day of work for many of my friends! Wherever they are, wish they luck and hopefully with the knowledge which we have acquired in this few years, they will be able to return back to the community!
So what about me? I am choosing another path. Just like the poem by Robert Frost, The Road not Taken, I am taking a far different road, road to the states. Am reading for my steps now, step by step. Taking a baby step each day.
Here's a link to a journal dedicated to my preparations. There are so many many other people out there who are also taking this route, many are mothers of a few, juggling between work, studies and family. So I feel rather 'lucky' to be able to read this step in peace.
http://www.prep4usmle.com/forum/thread/113195/
And yes, 2012, more magical moments to come.
I want the krou of 2013 be able to thank krou of 2012 for making this decision, taking this big step, and to thank krou of 2012 for persevering and working hard. yes. I want to be able to thank myself ( and of course people who have helped me a lot along the way) when I look back.
No regrets. No more.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
the very last lap
been missing for some time. partly because I have been very much spending 90% of my time typing for the past few months as part of my assignment to graduate. thankful that the period is over. and now is the final lap. going to have my final exam as medical student in two weeks time.
Also realised I have been changing a lot, over the few months, years, without myself realising. gonna need some reflections after my exam.
Can't wait to plan for my trip to the US after exam. also gotta restart my engine for the prep for USMLE.
every second does count.
jiayouuuu, i believe we can achieve whatever we can dream of, if we put in the extra bit of effort. till then, wish me luck!:)
Also realised I have been changing a lot, over the few months, years, without myself realising. gonna need some reflections after my exam.
Can't wait to plan for my trip to the US after exam. also gotta restart my engine for the prep for USMLE.
every second does count.
jiayouuuu, i believe we can achieve whatever we can dream of, if we put in the extra bit of effort. till then, wish me luck!:)
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