心

人之心
是多么的复杂
多么的弱
多么的难了解

一一解剖
那心
得来的
却是伤痕累累

my mandarin level really deteriorates. i mean not that my english is improving, i think i am facing problems for all my languages. gosh, i cant even write simple mandarin words!!

Fluff~

Recently i am addicted to an application in the facebook. its called fluff friends. there i adopted a fluff, and named it cutie :P haha. anyway, it is a rabbit, which they call it leppit. funny right? anyway, i am not a animal lover. just addicted in playing the fluff race in this application which we can bet and earn munny ( money ) from there. here are the details of the fluff. haha.

Type:	Leppit
Mood:	huggable
Saying:	"i love cherries and milk~" edit
Speed:	309 fph race

the mood will change automatically and i have no idea it depends on what. and the speed will increase if we feed the fluff food/drinks. we will need munny to buy those food to feed them. haha. i duno why i am wasting my time in this childish thing, but its fun!

i don't know what has happened to me recently, but i am like a purposeless and soulless person. waking up every morning, going for lecture, eat, sleep..... but without purpose. i have no idea what is going on in me, but it is happening. something is wrong. very wrong. :(

Eventful weekend~

Had a very eventful weekend, although that means not much studies done, i felt very satisfied. On friday, just after lecture, i went out together with wy,jeannie and some others for curry mee outing. haha. the journey there itself was very funny. after venturing for around 30mins, and with the help of some kind soul only did we manage to find the famous curry mee shop. there are many newspaper cutting pasted around the shop, which also means it appears in newspaper many times. so, the lucky me got to eat the famous laksa,thanks to wy and her sis :)

after the curry mee outing, i rushed back to vista to play ping pong with ww. we wanted to play on friday afternoon coz many 'apeks' ( old man) will be playing at this time. and oh man, they are really very very good despite of their age. so, walking in the court with our thick face, we asked the uncle to teach us and let us practise together. They are very nice people and one of them started teaching us. he is really like a real coach, looking at us practising and comment on any mistake that we made. But our skills were really bad, so he had to teach us from the basic, which is practising strokes. anyway, it was really nice learning from them. i decided to really commit myself in this sports and will spare out every friday and learn from this nice old people.

On saturday, i went to St jerome's home with few others to tutor the orphans there. because this is the first time i go there, so i really don't know what to expect. Luckily the whole thing turned out alright. anyway, we started of interacting with the kids there, some of them are really small, as in 3 years old and some are like 20 years old. because some of the kids went to school for activity, the few of us were able to give personal attention to each kids and tutor them with full attention. i tutor one girl who just finished her Pmr. so i decided to do some maths revision with her since it is better to build a good foundation before form4. so i started with Pythagoras Theorem. anyway, i spent the whole session teaching her squaring of numbers because i realised her basics are not very good. after the whole tutoring session, somehow i felt very thankful to have a happy and healthy environment for me to grow. or else i would not become what i am today.

In the evening, i was invited by yh to some cultural perfomances organised by MCA in conjunction with their 50th anniversary at bukit jalil stadium. It is some sort of event to promote chinese cultural so that it will not diminish in this modern world of today. anyway, i promised to go because there is FREE food provided ( i know i know, i am such a despo :P ). i called along ww and jeannie because yh gave me 4 extra tickets. the ticket each costs rm30 but then we don't need to pay anything because yh's dad already paid for it. the night was really fun, with good food and nice perfomances. i also got to see prime minister and many other political figures in that event. besides, i got to see Michael wong（光良）his voice is really very very nice. not forgetting era fazirra who just got engaged/married this week. she is so pretty and her voice is nice too.

Today, sunday i went to uni because i sign up to become tour guide of imu open day :) me and jeannie were loiterring around because there werent anyone for us to bring around. so we waited there and until one family came, so two of us started our tour. and do u believe it, we spent our whole shift bringing this family around the uni. the most interesting part of the tour was in csu. that was the 2nd time i been into csu. there were a lot of demostrations by our seniors, such as rectal examination, breast examination, BP taking, pap's smear, etc. it was very enlightening. and after the tour, our senior showed us how to take BP manually. i still vividly remember how to take , but still i learn a lot of new thing from the seniors. so today was really very fruitful, not only i learn a lot of new stuff, i also got free lunch& rm15!!! haha. yea.

haha, what a long post. U can see i am really very free.

insomnia

11pm: go to sleep
12am: still awake
start counting
1 sheep
2 sheeps
3 sheeps
4 sheeps
5 sheeps

suddenly remember something else~ the space btw visceral pleura and parietal pleura is call pleura cavity and is important to reduce the friction when lungs are moving during ventilation.bla bla bla bla bla.

12.05am: start counting again
1 sheep
2 sheeps

distracted again.......
this goes on and on and on and on and on for many many days.
i have became more and more like panda.a panda with mushroom hairstyle.
i am not stressed.why should i be.no reason.no valid reason at least.

by the way, i am back from kuantan after 1 week of break and had mushroom hairstyle now. heartache after cutting my long nice hair~but at least i can save a lot of shampoo and conditioner now:) haven't had hair as short as this since sec2. i hope a new hairstyle can give me a brand new life. a better life.a happier life ( although its a mushroom hairstyle)

Question

Haven't i thought of this question many times?
Should I or should I not?
Can u tell me?
Please.

After 12am~ again...

I just received a email from future.me. it is something that i wrote last year. i remember this website was introduced to me by kh. and that time sitting infront of library's comp, i wrote something and sent it to myself in the future. cool right. i totally forgotten about this and here it comes the email.

Dear FutureMe, 
here i am,in singapore,3 days before my 19th birthday.duno where i will 
celebrating my 20th,21st....bday and with who..24 days before my a levels, make 
or break is not only determined by this few days.but this few left over days 
i must really jia you so that at the time i read this i wont regret,because 
I HAVE TRIED MY BEST.

some parts of the letter had been edited due to some personal reasons. anyway, now 
that i have the answers for questions that i had last year, i shall answer them. I remember last year
at this very time i was very lost, duno anything about my future, duno where i will
end up in,the course that i will take,etc. i applied to many universities in uk, us and got accepted
into all of them, but in the end i chose not to go. how i wish i could send all these answers back to
1 year ago. then i wouldnt need to worry so much.sigh.

so here i am, back in my hometown celebrating my birthday. and will soon go back to
imu next week to continue with the course of my own choice. as for a levels, i think i had
tried my best. and even i didnt manage to achieve the perfect results which i aim for,
i am thankful for my results.

and on the side note, thank you
1. to my imu friends who gave me a surprise celebration. that was really very surprising!!!
2. to kh and px for the day!! :D
3. to my family( although they will not read this ) for celebrating with me on this very day
4. and to all my friends who still remember me and also my birthday and willing to waste the time
money to message me or wish me one way or another.

Thank you so much. i would not say it is the best one, but i am very grateful to be able to be
at home on this very day together with my loved ones.

After 12am~

Why do i feel so sad now?
Why the tears are dropping continuously?
On this very day. 15 mins after 12 am.
Why?
Cheer up please! u can do it !
Wake up and greet ur big day with a big fat smile.

Intersection point

"A place where things intersect, especially a place where two or more roads cross" -- definition from free dictionary.com

Will there be one intersection point in the future? i always wonder. If there is not, why bother wasting all the time, money, and even tears now?

But why worry with something that u cannot take control over? especially if it is something that is not going to happen in near future. ah, life.

jargon!

I remember some professor said that we will learn a lot of medical jargons throughout our medical journey on the first few briefing. I just cant believe that what she said is true. It is really A LOT!!!

Just being in foundation1, i have been exposed to so many medical jargons. Just the names in muscular system is enough to kill me. imagine having to memorise all the muscles, extensor-carpi-radialis-longus, sternocleidomastoid. i really have to agree with one joke that another professor made, that is the name of the muscle are even longer than the muscle itself! at least this joke make me laugh at all the long names of the muscles when i am having a tough time to memorise them all.

sometimes, it is kinda demoralizing to look at the text book and not understand the whole chapter. there are too many jargons and terms to remember. maybe i should really try replacing my pillow with my lovely text book. miracle may happen and maybe the facts in the text book will flow from higher concentration(text book) to lower concentration(mybrain,of course!), according to principle of osmosis. haha.

somebody help me. save my poor small brain!!!!

Uni Life~

6 weeks of uni life wasn't very bad, at least not as hectic as i have expected. There are not as much lectures as in jc, and there is no tutorial either. Now i kinda miss those time that we have three or four continuous assessments/tests every week, at least it keeps me motivated to study. haha, yes, i am those type of person that will only study under pressure. I remember i kept complaining last time due to the insane tests,cant believe i actually miss them now.

Today is the recruitment drive for CCA. it is very much tone down compared to those in jc. The booths set up are sooo different. There are no free gifts, no interesting presentation....ok ok, i shall stop comparing and complaining. I took part in 2 clubs and 2 sports. i guess it wont be as tiring as those in jc. Maybe after first or second sem, i will quit one of them.

Anyway, i am going to have one week holiday. wheeeee~ cant wait to go back home. home is nearer to me now, i miss home more though compare to last time. and yes, i am going to celebrate my birthday at home this year! yea, finally, after two years :D