brain

Brain is such a amazing organ. one which differentiates us human from animals. it's function, of course can be good or evil. there's always an angel who is talking to us and at the same time there will be one devil opposing it.

Many think that angel is the good one and devil will always be in the dark side. This applies to most cases, but in certain situation, the devil will act to protect us from whatever out there which is detrimental to us. It actually serves as a protective mechanism.

Of course, this triggered me to think, whenever I am studying, I felt tired. So is it tiredness, which the brain is telling me to stop and don't overwork OR is it just the devil side - I am just plain lazy. no idea.

But I can only conclude, self mastery is very important. It's all in your mind.

# side note after watching a very motivating movie: Gifted hands: Dr Ben Carson. Dr Carson the youngest appointed director of paediatric neurosurgeon in john hopkins university hospital was an amazing figure. You should google it to find how impressive his life story is and should totally watch the movie if you have time.

anyways, in one of his sharing, he pointed out how complex our brain is, how many billions neurons are working in our brain. He asked the crowd, how many of you remember your birthday? for this simple action of raising your hand, do you know complicated it is?

to spell out the mechanism in minutes is tough for me, but for the brain to process the question that we hear passing from our external auditory canal to inner then convert it to chemical energy passing it to our auditory cortex which connects to our motor centre to allow us to raise our hand, it only takes seconds for us to raise up our hand to answer to this stimulus. Awesome right?

and even more awesome is that all these are happening without us realising it. We never even thought about all this thing and our brain are diligently processing it in such amazing manner. Our brain can achieve soooo much without us realising.

so, imagine, what can WE achieve, if we put something that we want to do in our brain, if we are consciously thinking of doing it?

He also mentioned, he operated on many many many brains. And upon opening the skull, underneath the dura is our brain. And all human brains are the same, regardless you are black, white, female, male rich or poor. So, all this are just a cover. What differentiates one to another essentially is how you make use of your brain.

One question that his mother always ask him: do you have brain? if the answer is yes, stop making excuses to the problems and start finding solution. Because what is needed is all up there in our brain. We are equipped with everything we need to solve a problem.

yes, it's all in your mind!

concentration

It's 86 days to my exam. I am planning to schedule it on the 4th April. Here's the link to my prep journal again.

http://www.prep4usmle.com/forum/thread/115662/

CS was a very humbling journey as I got to know many people from all over the world. Some are phd holder, some even got offered a teaching job in my university. But they are all on the same boat as me, fighting to pass this exam.

As I started my preparation for step 1, I realised I am in a very different boat as step 2 ck or cs. After all, it's the first step in the long usmle journey. It is also supposedly the toughest exam. The people whom I met in the forum is definitely different from those in step 2. Many have given up half way or if they fail or scored a below average results. of course, there are people who took the exam for the second or even third time to fight this step 1 giant. The very difference is the determination. How determined you want to pass and do well in this exam.

Been unable to ceoncentrate well this few days. Today I realised, the only thing which can make me feel good is the feeling of accomplishment. And this good feeling is the main push for me to study harder. Of course, the determination.

Had a long discussion with mom yesterday about this issue of determination. How determined and how confident am I to be able to continue my training in the states. For now, honestly I don't know. I can only say I am taking one step at a time and my plan now is to give my best for step 1. But one thing for sure, I want to go higher in this ladder of medicine. I don't want to just be another-doctor-in-the-neighbourhood. I always believe we have to give our best in whatever we do,hopefully we can be at the top the ladder.

May we have the strength and determination to pull through whatever the future holds.

Gratitude

Just saw this quote somewhere

'Gratitude is proportional to happiness.'

 So true.

I have to be more grateful for what I have than what other people have.

Happy New Year

Happy new year!

I am back from the states. It's been a good month, travelling here there, moving from one place to another. Honestly, it was rather tiring. But who am I to complain, it was a fulfilling trip. Going to share what I have learnt from the trip:

1) travelling does open one's horizon- the experience of travelling, especially if you do it back-packing way, cannot be learnt from any book, any documentary on earth. All this thing, you need to experience it yourself. The feeling of being thrown in an unknown place, exploring the place and the culture of the people, is the most valuable thing which I have earned. I always believe that in order to understand a place, one have to stay there long enough, knowing a place cannot be done by just joining a tour, hoping from one tourist spot to another. so, before I have osteoarthritis, I am going to do back-packing style of travelling!

2) we are soooo far back - Being in the states for 3 weeks and also in China for about 12 days, this does make me realise that we are so far back. I am not comparing only to the states, even when I am comparing to China, which was once so underdeveloped, it has now gone far beyond what we have achieved. Take for example public transport, Shang Hai has like one of the fastest train in the world, which runs at a speed of approximately 400km/hr. Amazing right? even the subway system itself is much more developed and organised than us. I once read somewhere, how developed a country is not judged by how big the cars owned by the citizens, it is determined by how developed is the public transport system. We definitely have a lot more to learn.

3) home is still the best - I think I came to that conclusion after I came back from taiwan and singapore one year ago, but I am going to repeat this. Regardless how advanced or how developed other countries are, nothing beats home.
Firstly, the weather. I was so happy when I was embraced by a temperature of double digit when I step out of the airport. you cannot imagine how hard it is to live in a country which is so cold and dry. I had like nose bleed almost everyday due to the dry air. It was sooo troublesome having to check the forecast before going out each day so that we are not under/overdressed. I feel so much lighter back home here not having to wrap myself up with 5 layers!

Secondly, I realise regardless how fluent we are in mandarin or english, there is still a difference when we speak to the caucasian or to the local chinese people. it's not easy to learn the accent, perhaps it takes time. more over, there would definitely be cultural difference. we may understand every single word they say, but we may not be able to catch the meaning due to a cultural difference, vice versa.

Thirdly, you would not imagine how hard it is for me to find a plate of veggie to eat in the states. unlike back home, I normally have like 2 dishes of veggie each meal. there in the states, even to buy a fresh veggie, they only have salad in the normal caucasian supermarket. So, if we are desperate for REAL veggie, we need to go to some korean mart to get them. Of course, that explains the constipation which I got! lol.


and the list will go on and on.

People may ask, if I love back home so much, why I am still pursuing my goal to get to the states for residency training? The trip to the states has definitely make me more determined of my goal - for the reason mentioned above- no 2. we are so far back. Can't use a ruler to gauge how far back we are in medicine, but when I compare myself to my peers who went there to study, I am definitely no where compared to them as far as what I have achieved. It was a humbling experience, to see what other people of my age has already achieved. Perhaps, it's the america culture that pushes people to strive further.

So, to make my resolution of the year:  I am going to stretch my limits, to achieve a greater height in terms of my career, personal attributes and also relationships.

side note, I am starting my step 1 preparation today. ( completed step 2 ck and cs and I am glad that step 2 ck turned out alright! hopefully this will be a motivation for me to perform better in step 1)

2012 has witnessed lots of magical moments, hopefully year 2013 will promise more! Have a blessed year everybody!