why i am lame?

and yes, i always wonder, why am i lame? and today i got the answer ( i think i knew the answer long ago, but what happened justnow had just testified what i suspected all this while ;p)

we went to the pasar malam justnow. my parents and myself. while we are walking..

dad: eh, look, there's hair in the drink that they sell there..

( as i was about to show the disgust in my face ) ... guess what i saw? CINCAU in the soya drink! walau... i cant believe somebody just said that cincau is hair...

dad: eh paiseh mar! i didnt look closely enough...

and now, please don't blame me for my lame-ness. and don't ask me whyy. i was born with that wei!

and just as i came home, i got a offline message from my dearest ex-ex-roomie. haha. she sent me a email with folders, and when i look at the title of the folder ---'' k** h*** singing ''( i shall not disclose the name here, lol ) , i almost puke. lol... sorrry la, haha, but i am just not used to ..people being so confident of their own voice. but i would say, its not that bad la.. :)

so now, another reason, why i am so lame, just coz i have funny friends ;) or i should say, i am blessed with funny friends and family.

i think i am bit sot already, must be the siens-ness. must be! anddd, i just did a test sort of thing on facebook. walau, the results just made my day ! :D:D:D:D:D some certain small things ( which i know very well myself that its not true ) , deceiving yourself to make yourself happy is a good thing , sometimes :)

came across this very meaningful poem, which according to paulo coelho, its written by a japanese poet, Mitsuo Aida, reminding us the importance of innocence.

Because it has lived its life intensely

the parched grass still attracts the gaze of passers-by.

The flowers merely flower,

and they do this as well as they can.

The white lily, blooming unseen in the valley,

Doest not need to explain itself to anyone;

It lives merely for beauty.

Men, however, cannot accept that 'merely'.

If tomatoes wanted to be melons,

they would look completely ridiculous.

I am always amazed

that so many people are concerned

with wanting to be what they are not;

what's the point of making yourself look ridiculous?

You don't always have to pretend to be strong,

there's no need to prove all the time that everything is goingwell,

you shouldn't be concerned about what other people are thinking,

cry if you need to,

it's good to cry out all your tears

( because only then will you be able to smile again )

easier said than done. ''merely'', how many people can actually settle down by just being ''merely''?

i was nagged into doing spring cleaning yesterday ( spring cleaning, and spring onion, i like neither! ) i discovered a lot of '' treasures'' as i was cleaning up my stuff, including mr siukeong which i have later killed it, so sorryy mr siukeong!

and then, i found one whole stack of university application documents, and also some acceptance letters. among it, i found the offer of asean undergraduate scholarship by nus. IF i were to accept it, my parents wouldn't have to fork out such a big amount for me to study now; IF i were to accept it, i will be graduating as a pharmacist/bioengineer next year! IF i were to accept it, i might be doing some exchange programme, like all my other friends, in UK/US; IF i were to accept it, i don't need to flood my brain with anatomy-physio-patho-pharmaco blah blah.

so many IFs, and i asked myself, do i just want to settle with 'merely' that? i have my regrets, but i know it's too late. sometimes, there's just no U-turn in life. you just gotta keep going. but, i am starting to gain back my enthusiasm for medicine, which i have once doubted.

1 month more to clinical school, i know i am going to enjoy this 2.5 years :) and it's my bro's 31st birthday today. oh man! i can't believe how old he is already. haha. i am already feeling so old with a '2' infront of my age. imagine a '3' ! my goodness. perhaps that is what u called, maturity ;p

Have you ever wondered, why people always expected you to smile when taking photographs? i guess, it's because they hope that in the future, there would be something to smile about. and also for the hope to capture that very moment. that happy moment.

the one on the left was taken dec2005, and the one on the right taken jan2010. same place at awana kijal :)

4 years, i guess, nothing much has changed., physically ( besides the extra few kgs ;P ) but many things have taken place since then. i realised, i always like to compare now and then. don't know whether its a bad habit of mine, but it's good for myself to evaluate if i have improved throughout the years.

and nope, i am not emo, jh :D still surviving despite the siens-ness.

p/s: new year's resolution is to stay emo-less ( hmm, or at least, try to reduce the emoness :)

老妈常说我做事都是三分钟热度，

我在想，

如果爱情可以那样，

会好吗？

有时，寂寞会让人做出很多傻事，

愚蠢了，

是时间就该醒醒，

可能， 就像 michael buble 唱 那样， just haven't met you yet.