it's the end and the beginning!

last day of 2011. a year with ups and downs. much loss and much gain.

first week of gynae was not too bad. probably because most lecturers were on leave that we get to skip home early. ward is also not very crowded. not much cases.

something my prof said, which is very inspiring.

' you don't work for reward, you work for excellence and reward will automatically come to you'

learning makes me realise how much i do not know. it's always a life long journey. everyday, i learn to be a better person, a better doctor.

this shall be my motto for 2012.

may 2012 bring everyone lots of love and happiness.

christmas

it's christmas! merry christmas!

had a well spent weekend with family. it was a much needed break, away from all the routines , for me to take a breath before the last lap.

i am really really grateful to have such supportive family, who is always there for me, without which i wouldn't achieved what i have today. being in a traditional chinese family, it's rather hard to express my love to them, but i do hope my actions say it all! thank you.

kept an email in my draft box. contemplating if i should sent it. forgiving is forgetting. there should be a full stop already. i have been dwelling over it for way too long. it's gonna be a new year after all. yes. i am gonna start it right. with the correct mindset.

i will put all my might and strength in the right place. that is to study hard so that i won't be one of those doctors who received multiple complaints. i must be a competent one.

gynaecology! i will so nail you down!

medicine as it is

back to internal medicine posting. one of my favourite postings. wait, i enjoy most of postings, right. lol.

anyway, it's been a tough posting. so much to cover. so little time. less than 7 weeks to eos. stress is building up. i just feel like quitting. i know i can't.

been feeling really drained out. the journey seems never ending. and the journey gets lonelier as i progressed. it's really tiring to try my best in everything. sometimes, i wonder would it be better if i settle for something lesser? but then again, will i regret if i look back next time?

been thinking whether should i just stay here in malaysia for my housemanship? things would be simpler. no hassles. no headache. just follow the flow.

there's a thin line between trying too hard and try your best. i am tired. really.

那些年

watched this show justnow. it just brought back so much memories.

i miss those days when love can be so pure. no lies, no cheating, no excuses. love is just love. 纯纯的爱，蠢蠢的我们.

tears were shed, laughters were shared, but those moments were precious. i really really miss those moments.

as years gone by, falling in love is no longer the same thing. in fact, falling in love and out of love hurts more than falling down and failing. and this just made me feel reserved for love, for loving someone again.

simplicity and sincerity. both are like panda, facing extinction.

can you believe it's december?

NOOOOO! seriously, time flies. i know i kept repeating this.

i looked back at how i have spent this whole year. i remember i was typing obstetrics case report on the eve of new year last year. i believe i would be doing the same this year for gynaecology. and repeating the cycle of mugging like crazy during chinese new year. but i was glad, for the reward which i have gotten. but it's really putting a great burden on my heavy loaded shoulder.

then i started the new semester. the supposedly more relaxing semester. i fall in love and fall out of love. like a dream. but there's must be a reason something happened. maybe i just don't know yet.

then i went through the whole semester very miserably. and then its my elective period. taiwan and singapore. it was a good break. away from everything.

then back to semester 9. i can't believe i am in my final year of medical school. fast huh?

now, i felt the pressure whenever everybody asked what year i am in? and each time people say, means next year you will be a doctor already?

yes. i am going to be. i will be one. but i don't want to settle to just a doctor. i want to be a good one. and it takes extra step to be one. so i kept telling myself, i just have to grind my teeth and go through this.

i like the hectic life. at least it keeps me from thinking nonsense. somehow, i should be thankful that things ended this way.

anyway, i promise myself that i will make sure 2011 ends in a good way. jiayou everybody!