balance

today, i went to Mcd in seremban parade. i sat there for 2 hours alone. observing the passerby-s - old people, young people, kids, teenagers, couples, families. it was such a strange feeling. i felt that i don't belong there. perhaps i was too indulged in studies, in hospital life, that i haven't been in touch with the real world out there.

lol. the kids remind me of my niece.

i kept asking myself, is it worth it to sacrifice so much to be a doctor, or more precise, to be a competent doctor? how much litres of tears, how much kgs of loneliness till the day i can actually achieve what i want.

should the heart listen to the brain or the brain should listen to the heart? being rational and disciplined can be so painful.

its saturday night. the song issues by The saturdays is just how i feel now.

'There's a part of me that won't let you go
Keep saying yes while my minds saying no
Me and my heart we got issues
Don't know if I should hate you or miss you'

But i know what i should do now from your reply.

brrrr~

the weather is like my mood now. brr. cold and moody. huuuuhuuuu. it has been raining like almost everyday now. and i haven't been running for ages, like almost a month since my 25km. i still have knee pain when i climb stairs. probably the meniscus/ligament problem.

bah bah. its 3rd week of ortho. and it doesnt feel like it. i don't think i know much about ortho. next week is going to be first viva, then second viva following week and followed by clinical exam and also end of posting papers for Psy and ortho. ah ah ah ah ah.stress is building up.

sometimes, i just miss having someone to lean on. but i also dread to wet the pillow before sleeping because i miss the someone.

bones. moans. groannnnsss.

约定

就这样三年又过了

我还是回到这个地方
闭上眼等你的出现
空气中吻你的脸
我还记得我们的约定

really, three years has passed. fast it may seem. the promise that was held is no longer valid. funny , memories between us kept popping up in my mind this few days. and as i looked through the pictures we had, as i read back your old blogposts, tears just rolled down.


something has changed. but something remains.

i know with time, wound will heal. but will the scar be gone?

maybe it's time to find out what has changed and what hasn't. i shouldn't think so much man.

50 things you should do before graduating

i was reading this, and it strikes me, how true it is.

out of the 50 things, i like the last line the most.

''This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn.''

so true. many of my friends are already working. thats when we are thrown into the real world. that time, our responsibility is not only to learn, but many other things as well.

so scary. i cannot imagine graduating in less than 2 years time. one question: would i be competent enough to serve? i hope i can answer proudly then :)